Neville Could Not Concentrate

Neville Could Not Concentrate

Even though he really should. This meeting had been set up weeks in advance, and the entire department was here. The company had not been doing well these past few months—well, years really—and this was where the bosses would announce the big restructuring. Or the latest one, anyway. There seemed to be around one a year.

At least the layoffs seemed to be over for now. Most of Neville’s subordinates had luckily survived. He had a hard time holding those kinds of conversations even when he was feeling well, and today, he was not feeling well at all. In fact, it was probably one of the worst days of his life.

That was because this morning, Neville had woken up with a hole in his head.

The Morning Discovery

When his alarm rang at 6:30, as it did every day (yes, including weekends), he thought there was a strange feeling at the back of his head. Or rather, a lack thereof. He assumed his scalp must have gotten numb somehow, and even that had worried him, because how could one’s scalp randomly grow numb? Little did he know it was far worse than that.

When he touched the spot with his fingers, right where his hair had been getting dangerously thin these past few years, they felt nothing. He did not want to believe it at first. Surely he must still be dreaming, he reasoned, but then he felt the edges of the hole. It was undeniably there.

Of course, that threw off his entire morning routine. Neville liked having a shower every morning, right after getting out of bed, but of course, that had been unthinkable with the hole. He had to get a washcloth and clean himself as best he could, which was not a very satisfying solution at all, but it was the best he could do under the circumstances.

He had tried looking at the hole in the mirror, but it was hard to turn in a way that he could see it, and every time he came close, the sheer horror made him flinch and turn away. Would he be able to see straight to his brain? Somehow, he didn’t want to know.

A Meeting With a Secret

At least no one had questioned the hat he was wearing. “A cold,” had been his inadequate excuse. Somehow, no one wondered why he was not showing any signs of having a cold or why he was dressed the same as usual aside from the hat. Or else, no one dared question it. Was that because he was a team manager? It was the second lowest position in the hierarchy, but perhaps it was still enough that no one on the rung below him felt authorized to bring it up. Sometimes it was good to be a boss, he supposed. Or maybe the threat of layoffs had made people overly cautious. That thought made Neville sad.

He started to wonder why he came into work at all. He had only missed a single day in his career—a bad case of food poisoning—and even then, he had tried to get into work, only to have to turn around halfway. But this was an extraordinary circumstance, wasn’t it? Did people with holes in their heads turn up for work? Somehow, Neville thought not. Yet he somehow hadn’t even thought about calling in sick. Well, how would he have explained it, anyway?

Being Put on the Spot

“Neville?”

Neville’s boss was looking right at him. Oh god, he’s asked me something.

“Yes?”

“Well, would you like to say a few words?”

His mind was racing. Expectant eyes around the room. Words on what? His boss had just asked for a few words. A few should be manageable, right? No, that was stupid. It couldn’t just be any words. Things were expected of him. Probably. He was a boss, after all. Soothing words, maybe? Everything will be alright? No, that didn’t sound right. Oh lord, what if he said the wrong words? Would he be next on the chopping block? Wait, was that what was happening? Did he just get fired? No, they wouldn’t do that, would they? Not in this setting. But what—

“To your new team?”

Neville’s eyes shot to the presentation being shown on the monitor. An organizational chart. He breathed an internal sigh of relief. The new teams, of course. He had known that his team would stay mostly the same through the restructuring. He quickly composed himself.

“Of course. I know these past few weeks have not been easy for any of us, but we’re very confident in the direction we are taking. We will come out of this more robust than before, and I know all of you will continue to do great work.”

Empty platitudes. He was good at those. One of the most important tools as a boss, he had learned. Polite smiles around the room. Neville sank back into his chair. He judged that those would be the only words he was expected to say during these two hours.

He had almost forgotten the hole for a moment.

Taking the Day Off

The rest of the meeting was uneventful, as expected. By the time it was over, the lunch break had arrived, which gave him momentary relief, at least until he remembered that he would still have half the day to go through afterward. How would he manage? It dawned on him that the meeting may have been the easy part. He had been allowed to sit in silence—well, aside from his few words, that is—whereas in the afternoon he might actually have to work. As in, talk to people. How would he be able to focus? Could he get through an entire afternoon on platitudes? Truthfully, he knew the answer to that, and it was yes, but that was when he didn’t have the hole in his head. He wasn’t sure he could do it today.

So he made a momentous decision: he would take the rest of the day off.

…

(The story continues with Neville’s visit to the emergency room, his thoughts about adjusting to life with the hole, and his eventual realization that the hole vanished the next morning.)